I want to tell you a true story to illustrate the power of having a plan that you believe in. It's a story about me, the very worst day of my life and the very best day of my life. There are a lot of similarities between these two days and there are two absolutely crucial differences. If you don't have time to read the full story then I get it, we're all busy, just know this. In my personal experience, these two things are the difference between despair and joy.
1) A plan that I believed in
2) The support to write that plan and implement it
And by the way, number 2: the support to write and implement the plan the works for YOU, that YOU truly believe in, that you can refer back to when hit by unexpected circumstances. That plan is what I want you to have when you face transitions, opportunities or the difficulties of life. As a personal coach I can help you write that plan and keep you on track with making it really happen.
Content Warning, this story is about childbirth.
When I had my first child I went to the usual prenatal classes and was told to write a birth plan. I was also told that birth was unpredictable and so I shouldn't get too attached to any plan as I wouldn't be able to control what happened. Maybe you were told the same thing? Well it's terrible advice!! Now I get really angry thinking about the other women who are being given that same bad advice.
Why was it such bad advice? It's true isn't it? Well sure, birth is unpredictable, in that no-one knows EXACTLY what will happen. But it's not totally unpredictable. You have a pretty good idea of what will happen even if some aspects may change. You will probably be in pain, there are some decisions you will definitely have to make and some that you may have to make and then you will meet your baby! You can plan for the different possibilities.
Back to my story. I wrote a quick and half hearted birth plan and tried not to think too much about the birth at all. There would be medical experts to sort everything out right? I'd just do what they recommended, it'd be alright on the night. Then I went into labour. The medical professionals I'd hoped would just tell me what to do were busy looking after multiple women. My labour was slow and my baby was healthy so I was a low priority. I was left alone. I needed to ask for what I needed, but I didn't know what I needed. If only I had a plan to guide me!
48 hours after I went into labour I was utterly exhausted, unable to move, still in pain and had agreed to medical procedures I knew I didn't want. I had a healthy baby and what should have been the best day of my life was in fact the worst day. My story doesn't end here though! I have another child and as soon as I knew I was pregnant I also knew I needed to do it differently this time. I needed more support. This time there would be no winging it and hoping for the best!
Second time around I hired Ellie as my Doula - a Doula is someone without medical training who provides guidance and support to a pregnant women during labour. She was absolutely brilliant and helped me to write a proper birth plan. This time I thought through all the different things that might happen and made informed decisions about each one, by the time I was in tired and in pain all I had to do was repeat the decision I'd already thought about. This birth didn't go to plan A, as it turned out I needed a plan B - and I had one. This time I enjoyed the joyful, triumphant feeling of having created a wonderful baby. Truly the best day of my life!
I hope this story has convinced you of the value of the right support and the right plan! I offer this support to mums who are - returning to work after a break - searching for a new job - deciding whether to return to work - adjusting to life as a parent/homemaker
Please get in touch to discuss how I can help you or fill in my discovery questionnaire to receive a free initial session.
If you are having a baby and would like to invest in a Doula, you can find Ellie here: www.elliethedoula.com or search Doulas through https://www.cambsdoulas.co.uk/
Comments